This one goes out to you, Amy. Your comment meant the world to me and, in light of your words, I want to write a little something before drifting off to sleep.
I worked 15 hours today and am physically exhausted, but somehow Amy, your words stuck with me. “Authentic and Awakened.” Despite sleepy eyes, fatigued muscles and a pretty spectacular craving for the comfort of my freshly washed sheets, I felt rather awake; surprisingly alert; completely authentic.
I had an awakening thought last night in the shower. While the pesky little voice in the very back of my brain, that often likes to try and throw a monkey wrench in the calm of my thoughts, hammered on like, “Oh my gosh you have a huge day tomorrow…you’re going to be so tired…do you realize it’s almost 16 hours you’ll be working? Aren’t you freaked out? Aren’t you dreading it?? Dread it, dread it,” my rational mindset intervened with the simple retort, “At least I get to be me, all day long.” The thought brought a smile to my face. It was a thought that was completely unplanned, it popped up without any urge from the optimism that loyally battles the “monkey wrench brain.” The thought was genuine, totally authentic. And it left me awakened!
I couldn’t believe it. I felt like a child; to have such a simple answer for an otherwise monstrous day, to have such a simple fix, that doesn’t seem very adult-like! As adults we like to see the negative, cling to it, even. Children have that blissful authenticity of just enjoying life for all of the littlest things, the things that we as adults are often too busy to give much merit to anymore.
I will admit, I was proud that my mind came up with such a charming answer. I was like, “Wow. Good point…I get to be me in all of my imperfections and flaws and wonderfully unique characteristics. I may not be doing what I’d like to be doing, but I’ll be me and that will make it fun.”
I am in NO way trying to brag and be like, “Oh my gosh I’m soooo positive and optimistic and I loooove being me, blah blah blah.” The reason that I’m divulging this to you all is because I always wanted to think that way. I focused on trying to think that way. I directed energy into the manifestation of thinking that way. Then, without expecting it, just minding my own business shampooing my hair yesterday, I recognized the manifestation.
The best part is that it actually made today pretty freaking awesome! No I didn’t feel cute, nor did I feel my most energetic, nor did I have any control whatsoever over my physical whereabouts…but I managed to hold true to my little happy thought from last night. I felt utterly and authentically myself, all day long. The awareness of my individuality and my ability to control the weather forecast of my own mindset was a little intoxicating. It’s the reason, I believe, that I am still alert and introspective some 16 hours after waking.
On the off chance my long day is causing me to ramble, I will cut this short. But the point is this: do not underestimate the power of your subconscious. It hears you. Your heart and mind hear your affirmations. You will, after enough repetition, begin to unconsciously repeat the positive thoughts, affirmations and beliefs that you are instilling in yourself. Be patient. Be kind. Be loving. With yourself as well as with others. Plant the seed and water it with repetition, the repetition off affirmations and faith. In doing so, you are cultivating your most authentic and awakened Self.
Goodnight, my friends, Namaste.