Two nights ago I dreamt of an elephant. I was in charge of her, she was on my watch. We were in the downtown plaza of my hometown, an outdoor grassy square, when she moved out into the street. I was helpless to stop her. She was an elephant, for goodness sake, and I just a small human being!
The elephant danced magestically, swinging her trunk. I scurried after her, worried but not crying out. As I followed her path I came to a building, she’d disappeared into it, her trunk visible behind the high balcony. Suddenly, as dreams do, my elephant was fierce. What was outside and on my watch was now suddenly a lion, one with a big, bushy mane, absolutely beautiful in her feline grace. She was fearful and gentle. I called out to her, suddenly very worried, she couldn’t care for herself and I was in charge. I had to get to her! As I cried out, the fierce creature inside the courtyard reached over and grabbed the lion by her mane, pulling her up over the balcony to be devoured. I screamed out, guttural cries, NOOOOO! On my watch! My elephant, my lion, my sacred space, that was in my hands to protect!
Off the top of my head I can say this: we passed into Leo on the 23rd, astrologically speaking, and elephants symbolize strength, power, wisdom. Ganesh is the remover of obstacles. What could the lion represent? She was fearful, gentle, too gentle to protect herself. She never even lifted her gaze when she was grabbed by the mane. Unsuspecting. Apprehensive. Perhaps the dream signifies the removal of these traits, traits that I interpret as obstacles.
Yesterday I pulled out my Dreamer’s Dictionary to further investigate. Alas, the elephant does bode good omens, as I’d intuitively known. The lion is, according to my book, said to be “a symbol of social distinction and/or business leadership.”
Business leadership. Ding, ding, ding. I’ve been ruminating a lot lately on the manifestation of my dream career. A beautiful hybrid of writing, nutrition, yoga and Ayurveda, all captured beneath the umbrella of “holistic wellness.” That is my passion. That is what I’m here to live, breathe and share.
I have a little statue of Ganesh on my desk. I also have a small, handcrafted bowl made by my friend and fellow yogini Meaghan. It’s an exquisite piece of pottery with the Om symbol stamped into it. Periodically, when faced with a staggering obstacle looming over me, I write down in active language the resolution of said obstacle and fold it up tiny, placing it into the cup. I place Ganesh in front of it. The first two obstacles I placed into my cup were removed from my life. One of them I cannot even remember…I’ve been that absolved of the struggle. The third shred of paper I just placed into my cup this past week and, with Ganesh standing guard, I know now to just trust the process, and walk away.
Trust the process. Words spoken from teachers to Tribe. Words that I carry with me. Words that resonate in the depths of my soul, traveling up, up, up. Words that ignite each chakra, my energy centers, reverberating in the truth that I speak each day and infusing the intuition on which I am learning to rely.
I am more in touch with my energy centers now that I ever have been. The nucleus of my being runs on the fuel of a holistically lived life, a dedicated yoga practice, the influx of love that I am blessed to receive each day from the cherished human beings I share my life with. Today, for instance, was a huge day. I began the morning with my practice, a vigorous flow at the studio, followed by a strenuous and long hike with my cousin whom I rarely have the opportunity to spend such quality time with. Later I taught a yoga class. Straight after that I zipped over a town for a sunset photo shoot. It was a magical day. It was also, however, a day of outpouring energy.
I feel it now, in my being, after the day I had. I feel the delicious and yet debilitating aftershock of such a deluge. Physical energy in my yoga practice, social and physical energy on the hike, holistic energy in teaching, spiritual and emotional energy in modeling…such different modalities and yet all springing from one divine source.
Our energy reservoir is not bottomless. My energy feels depleted this evening, but in a way that leaves me exhilarated, alive, liberated. I know I will dedicate my intention tomorrow to expanding my energy, reestablishing myself in my center, building back up the vibrational energy that fuels my passionate existence.
Perhaps that is yet another way to interpret my dream…seeing the elephant as the world and the lion as energetics. Predator and prey. Hungering, vulturous chaos and sacred, essential life force. It is our responsibility to protect and preserve our vitality, our prana, our life force. In letting the energy flit around anxiously, fearfully, ungrounded, insecure, one risks one’s energy center being depleted in one fell swoop by the ever-changing tides. Sucked up by the elephants thirsty trunk. Too much vata and easily comes unanchored.
I feel deeply in tune with my energies, my dreams, my purpose here on earth…I feel like my interpretation of this last vivid dream is warm, getting close to the core of it…but I could be full of . Whatever the dream meant, all that matters is this resonance it has in my spirit. The “aha” moment it gives me. I could be spot on or way off and that really doesn’t matter. You could be reading this thinking I’m a total eccentric or maybe a smidgen genius and that really doesn’t matter either. All that really matters is how our own interpretations of all that occurs inside our own little Universes and how it makes us feel.
Connecting to the feeling of it all, of life; the taste, sound, touch and scent of it, the palpable vulnerability and beauty in it…that is what matters. Experiencing our dreams, relationships, thoughts, meals, asanas, devastations, celebrations, grand discoveries, moments of delusion…experiencing them uniquely and fully is what really matters.
So whatever the meaning of my elephant dream, whatever the state of energetics, tonight I am at peace with the process. I am content in knowing I trust it, that I fully experience the beautiful little idiosyncrasies of my life, and that I relish in my quirky attempts at dream interpretation. Because if I don’t take a stab at it, how will I ever enjoy the fruits of imagination? Because I thrive in the harnessing of intuition. Because the creative spark of self-observation is alive in me, both in my waking and sleeping state.
Because even if I’m completely wrong, that’s okay. I was never trying to be right.