Some of my favorite moments are spent looking back at my past, observing what had to shift to bring me to where I am now…moments spent rooted in the present, but allowing the psyche to journey back in time; making note of circumstances, people, beliefs that once ruled my world and which now hold no weight at all; making equal note of other circumstances, people, beliefs that have persisted, held true, which still contribute to the core of my existence.
Healing and growth are constants in life, inherently circulating in nature, and yet we so often forget to heed the triumphant effects of their presence in our lives. We so often forget to give thanks for the natural rhythm with which they operate, soothe, infiltrate, embody. Like breathing and hearts beating, they move forth involuntarily, as uncontrolled as the forces that wound and stunt us. They just slip in silently, pacifying, often to our unintentional neglect. We are so wrapped up in the colors and sounds, the pain and pleasure, that this intrinsic process easily goes unnoticed. But it’s magical, it is truly a gift.
Being on the path of Awareness brings so much to light, this included, and it’s very difficult not to find oneself feeling grateful on a moment-to-moment basis. Despite the other human reactions to life that flitter to the surface, I believe this path lays gratitude as a solid foundation. It might feel far below us at times, the more raw and potent, fleshy emotions taking greater precedence on impulse, but it’s there…holding us up, the supportive structure to the very path on which we walk. Just as the yogic life brings great discomforts to the surface, it also illuminates just how miraculous the entire process truly is…how what was once broken is now mended, what was once infantile has now matured, what once was a supreme struggle has now been braided with ease…we must take notice of these shifts, we must. Because this acknowledgement is the half that makes us whole. It’s the railing on our journey upwards, onwards, downwards and upwards again. It’s the invisible ceiling as well as the ground beneath our feet.
Some of my favorite moments are spent looking back at the past and observing what had to shift to bring me to where I am now, right in this very moment…tasting every drop of the decadent gratitude that ensues, savoring it and knowing it intimately. Coming to know this self-inquiry, this observation, this panorama…is to build intimacy with the Self, to fortify the relationship with oneself. It elicits pride, not of the egoistic sense, but of fortitude; perseverance. This remembering, this knowing, is a badge of resilience, of Truth, and ultimately of Spirit. This remembering anchors us, brings us home. It is a deeply sacred practice, indulging in these moments, and it is shared with the greatest companion any of us could ever hope to walk with on this path . . . the Self ❤
Wishing peace and love to all of you, this night and every night. Om Namah Shivaya.